Rain

It's been raining for over a week, and it's supposed to through the rest of this week too.  Needless to say, this doesn't make Lilly happy.  V and I had a good trip though.  We headed south and didn't get rained on; we saw many of our close friends who came to the wedding, which was the best way to spend Easter weekend.  In addition, we saw old friends we hadn't been able to see in awhile and they'd spread word of our wedding.  When we were out dinner with some friends and some strangers, it was the strangers who demanded to see our rings and asked how the ceremony went.  Basically, it was a great weekend of feeling loved.

Now it's back to work, and neither of us slept well over the trip, so we're both exhausted.  V has been texting me that she's falling asleep in her little girl's rocker; I've been a lump on the couch for a good chunk of my day with the twins.  Tonight's plan is to take some Tylenol PM and go to sleep around 9, if we make it that long.

Lilly, when she doesn't feel well, would be perfectly content for me to read to her for two hours straight.  And by perfectly content, I mean will throw a fit if I stop.  Here I go again (on my own)...

Cute lines

Two Lilly quotes from today, and then V and I are off to spend Easter weekend with a series of good friends.  Easter day will be spent driving about nine hours in the car, but that's not a problem.

I always have yogurt when the twins do in the morning; this morning, I didn't produce any, and they both asked where mine was.  I told them I was out and I'd have to buy more.  Lilly informed me that "Daddy go store buy more yogurt for Lina."

Later, we were at the playground, and they'd had bunches of goldfish.  Lilly walked over and contemplatively said, "I need some milk, I think."

If you don't hear from me, have a wonderful holiday weekend, everyone!

Technique

Patrick has this twin thing figured out.  Lilly's very much in a phase (okay, her entire life has been a phase) of wanting whatever he has, just because he has it.  He's finally figured out what to do if he wants something and she goes for it.  He finds another toy and starts feigning interest in that (asking her if she wants it would be too overt), then as soon as she latches onto that, he goes for what he really wants.

Smart kid.  They also blame stinky diapers on each other.  I'll ask who's got on, and they each instantly call out the other one.  Silly silly twinsies.

Moments of Grace

I don't think I've ever had an unredeemable day with the twins.  I've had some pretty bad ones - they are two and a half, after all - but there always ends up being a bright spot.  Usually it's toothbrush time after lunch.  No matter how chaotic and difficult lunch has been, when I sit them, one at a time, on the bathroom counter, and hold their toothbrushes, each (though more so Patrick) will lean his/her head into me and watch us in the mirror.  It's a calm moment of precious baby and me time that refocuses me and puts the preceding four hours into perspective.

I thought today was going to be close to unredeemable, though.  Lilly woke up on the wrong side of the crib, again, and was bursting into angry tears at the slightest provocation.  She's still polite - she paused a fit to thank me for blessing her sneeze - but I knew from the moment I got her out of the crib that today could easily be war.  After breakfast, she stopped playing with a toy; Patrick started to play with it a few minutes later, and Lilly had a meltdown of "my car, my car!"

I did my usual explanation of "you stopped, he can have a turn, etc," but she was just genuinely upset.  Her nose was stuffy, too, which I'm sure didn't help.  I scooped her up and carried her upstairs to the nursery, where we sat in the rocker and read two books.  I started singing to her, and kept that up for almost half an hour as she drifted in and out of sleep.  Her big blankie was wrapped around her; her little silky one was on my chest, with her soft strawberry blond hair resting on it, her fingers in her mouth.  It was a moment of peace - more than a moment.  Patrick played downstairs by himself quietly, thank goodness.  When he finally came up, Lilly began to perk up, and soon they were playing together mostly nicely.  Life went back to normal.

I needed that rocking chair time as much as she did.  I'd already written off today as a "grumpy monkey" day.  I was just counting down to naptime.  Instead, I had a warm, soft little body curled into mine, breathing regularly, both of us grateful for a pause in our crazy two-toddlers days to simply rest and love each other.  I couldn't stop kissing her head; I whispered "I hope you love your Lina as much as I love my Lilly."  She'll throw more fits - she did before today was over.  But grace shone through instead of temper: grace for the two-year-old trying to figure out the world, and grace for the twenty-two year old trying to do the same.

Growing up

I've been with the twins for nine months now.  Every month brings so many changes when kids are under four or five, and looking back to last summer, it's amazing to me how these kids have grown up.  We were playing outside today in the beautiful weather; I kept getting flashbacks to late last summer when we'd do the same.  "Don't let them go up and down the stone steps by themselves," I heard their mother tell me almost a year ago, as I watched both Patrick and Lilly nimbly do exactly that.

We've been having three-way conversations lately, too.  It's a new thing.  I asked Lilly this morning what she wanted to do outside, whether stroller (go on a walk), paintbrushes (paint the sidewalk with water), or slide (play on their little slide).  She said stroller, and I said we should ask Patrick.  She yelled down the stairs for him (he was coming up) and asked what he wanted to do; when he said paintbrushes, she thought for a minute, and said, "Okay, paintbrushes."  They both then told me they wanted to paint, and which color paintbrush each wanted.

Almost two year olds are very much alive.  It's the age Bug is, as well as Isabella, Sean, and many other kids I watch.  But the difference from the twins at almost two to now, just past two and a half, is stunning.  They're talking so much; they're so interactive.  They've really just come alive.  I love it.

Conversion

From what I hear, it's a common fear that the gays (or "teh gayz"?) are trying to convert everyone to their same-sex lovin'.  It's a stupid fear.  I'm sure there are some who think that in general gay people > straight people, but they're in the minority.  I like straight people.  Sometimes I even like kissing them.

All that said, I do happen to have a handful of good friends who would make awesome lesbians.  I'm not even sure I can elaborate on that statement; it's just something I know (and V agrees).  I don't think they should immediately run out and find a girl, turning their backs on men everywhere.  I think in part it's me wanting a more gray society: less self-proclaimed 0s (and 6s) on the Kinsey scale, and more willingness to contemplate variety.

Therefore, when I found out last night that a good friend made out with a girl, it made my night.  The circumstances are irrelevant for the moment; it's just the fact that it happened.  That she was willing to go with it.  That I'm sure it was super hot.  I don't want to make everyone gay, but it sure makes me happy when people are open to the possibility of something different.

What big brothers have

I chatted with Seth and Isabella's mom tonight, for probably half an hour before she left and another half hour after.  We hadn't seen each other in two months.  The beforehand was all about the wedding; the afterward was all about the kids.

Apparently Isabella, who's two on Easter Sunday, went through a phase recently of, not to quote Freud, penis envy.  It started as, "Mommy, Seth has penis, I want penis," and escalated into, "Mommy, I really really want penis!!"  After about two and a half weeks, she came to a grand realization.
"Mommy, Seth big boy, he have penis.  Isabella big girl, have bagina!"

This is why I love working with toddlers.