Mine

I always love the moment when it seems like kids I watch could be mine.  Whether it's being assumed to be the mom at the park (and not correcting the bystander), or snuggling someone in bed without the rest of the world for a moment...those are the times I really love my job.

Today, the twins' dad and I took the kids to swimming lessons (that's a whole different story), and after the lesson, I took Lilly to the locker room, and he took Patrick.  Lilly and I went in the shower, stripped, and played in the water: she didn't want to get out, and I felt like she was my daughter.

I don't know what makes that feeling happen.  But when it does, it's perfect.

Do II

V and I had a good talk last night, about pressures in our lives.  The hours she's been working have made her less available to emotionally keep me going - not that I'm holding this against her, and she knows that.  I generally keep the logic side of things running (I'm the INTJ); she handles the sanity (she's the INFJ).  There haven't been any major mental crises, but apparently I'd just been building.

Not that I now feel the ability to go do everything.  We did just spend an hour and a half cleaning the craft room.  Moving into a way-too-large space means we've sprawled, and that sprawl hasn't been neat.  Long way to go yet - along with painting the kitchen, and hanging up the giant shelf in there so we can get half our pantry off the floor.

We've finally accepted the fact that we're not movie people.  It seems like everyone our age is, but we never really watch movies - yet we have over 60.  Well, after tonight, we have 44, which is at least better.  Even though they rarely see the light of day (or the inside of the dvd player)...some just need to stay.  44, apparently.

Sorry for the sporadic-ness.  Can you say sporadicity?  It seems like you should be able to, but it makes me think of plant spores.  Anyway, V is listening to Mitch Hedberg in the background; his erratic flow of thought apparently triggers mine.  (Though I'm not as funny, of course.)

Do

I have so much I want to do.  I want to write; there are a few different thoughts in my head.  I want to go for a walk, while the sun's still shining.  I want to put away the dishes and laundry, to keep the house neat.

Motivation has always been a struggle for me, but even more so lately.  I worked on my puzzle.  I read internet randomness.  I'm now eating leftover asparagus and frozen corn for dinner.  V will be home in just over an hour; I've accomplished, quite literally, nothing.  Besides feeding myself, I suppose.

Lack of motivation leads to even less motivation, if that's possible.  I'm going to eat more corn.

Secret

The kids and I have a "secret" playset, and we spent an hour out there tonight.  Their parents were doing some sort of volunteer work, so I did my usual breakfast to nap, and then did nap through dinner and playtime.  Except for dinner, the day went well; when we went back to the playset afterward, we all had a blast.  They got muddy (oh well) sliding down the super fast slide (really super fast: Lilly gets air), we cleared some sticks, and they both peed in the woods.  It was grand.

There's a good chance that around Easter-ish, V and I might have the kids for three full days while their parents go away.  I'm excited about this prospect.

This whole V working fewer hours thing is a dream.  We actually can do things like run to the grocery at 10pm for cookie dough (now whether that's a wise choice is a different matter!) and sit on the couch reading the internet.  I think I'm going to like the foreseeable future.

Speaking of

Speaking of Etsy, V recently sold 3 dictionary bouquets!!  All to the same person, but that's still a big order.  And the girl who bought them was so happy - that's why I love Etsy.  And craft fairs, and that sort of thing.  I love being able to see how genuinely glad people are for things she/we/I can provide.

This is still one of my favorite pictures from our wedding:

Party

V and I are off to photograph a two year old's birthday party.  Rumor has it that there will be a bulldozer appearance!  I still get so nervous before shoots, but I know that will get better the more we do.

We have a wedding in August and another in October that we know we're doing.  An engagement session sometime before October.  A kids' shoot in the next month, and possibly a family shoot in the next two months.

I would love for this to be a steady source of income.  With V cutting back on her "traditional" working hours, it would be great to supplement some of that loss.  She's also working on getting an Etsy shop up and running...well, she has a shop, but adding to it.  We want to do LGBT-friendly onesies and toddler shirts that go beyond "I love my mommies"; there aren't as many options as you'd think.  Hopefully that will bring in some money too.

We're not hurting for money.  But we're not exactly...helping?...for it, either.  In a few years, when she's actually teaching, it will be nice to have, honestly, more money that we can even conceive of right now.  Which is good, since we'll have double the student debt.

Quiet

V is at a conference all day, and I'm still trying to get myself up off the couch to deal with the house.  (Note to self: See? This is what you'd give up if you had a baby.)  It's rare that I have the house to myself; it's quiet, except for the cat pushing her water bowl across the floor.

I'm supposed to be cleaning under our bed, our bathtub, and by one of the doors: all the places that the ants keep coming in.  Traps are working well, mostly, but we're both so tired of killing ants all over the house.  It's disheartening.

I guess I should do the dishes too.  But this soft brown blanket on this comfy purple couch is so welcoming.