Monday, September 30, 2013

You've been warned

This post is both NSFW (depending on where you work) and strange, but at least I'm telling you in advance, right?

After a great deal of Eli being troublesome to get to sleep (gone are the days when his mom joked that I brought tranquilizers in my purse), I've reached a somewhat startling conclusion.

Getting a baby to sleep is not unlike trying to get a woman to orgasm.

You can do the same things you've done in the past, successfully, and one day it just up and doesn't work.

It's frequently a matter of guesswork, and always requires paying constant attention to practically nonexistent signs.

If you change it up at the wrong moment, you're doomed, and there is no hope.

The atmosphere has to be set just right.

It takes a certain though always varying amount of prep work and build up to reach the critical moment.

If I sound like a burnt out wife or nanny, rest assured I'm not. But it's worth writing down what goes through my head when I'm singing Hush Little Baby for the thirteenth time at one nap.

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