Saturday, November 19, 2011

Freeing

Growing up, V and I were both told in our churches some variation on "there's a God-shaped hole inside your heart."  Youth groups warned us not to fill that hole with boys, or drugs, or even "holy" pursuits like academics.  Only God could perfectly fill up a person.

Last night, V commented that there is in fact a hole inside people.  It's called adolescence.  It's not God-shaped; it's not any shaped.  It's just a part of life - I'm not even sure it's a hole.  Teenage years can suck.  God may help, or may not.

It's taken me more time than I'd like, but I finally feel free of the "God-shaped hole" myth.  I finally feel free of the God myth, for lack of better terminology.  Not that I don't believe there is a God - in some form, somewhere, in some level of involvement with humanity.  It's just that, for the first time in my life, I feel totally comfortable not giving a rat's behind about any of it.

One of the other common church stories is the idea of coming to Jesus, being saved, and having a burden lifted off that you didn't even realize was there.  Well I'm here tonight to bring you the message that the exact opposite action will give you the same result.  I have rarely felt so free, so relaxed (in this regard), as in the past few months.

I am, at long last, comfortably areligious.  Comfortably letting all rats keep their rear ends when it comes to religion.  I don't have to think about getting up on Sunday morning, every week.  I don't have to think about whether my actions hurt or please anyone other than myself and my fellow humans.  And amazingly, I don't have to think about guilt.  It's finally disappeared.

I love it.  I've caught myself lately just pausing, taking a deep breath, and feeling the lack of stress and guilt and worry and expectations.  It's downright freeing.

1 comment:

  1. You might get a lot of slack from this post as the world is full of people who will want to condemn you for such beliefs, but I for one think it is brave and wonderful that you found freedom. I felt the same way when I found my freedom. :)

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