I'm hoping to participate in the religious fundamentalism and sexuality project that Sierra is running on the phoenix and olive branch. Through answering the questions, I've felt at times "not fundamentalist enough," which as I mentioned in an email to her, is not a competition I ever want to have! But it's really been fascinating to think about these things, and try to put myself in the mindset that I was in five and ten years ago. It feels like such a foreign place; sometimes I'm hard on myself for not seeing the ridiculousness back then. But, like everything else in life, it's a journey.
I want V to read over my answers, and then I'm emailing them off. I hope she includes them, of course, but even if not, I'm anxious to read everyone else's thoughts. One of my downfalls is that once I change my mind, I have a hard time recalling how I used to think. That makes it difficult to put myself back a decade, sitting in purity class, talking about wedding night sex and the leader making jokes at me that I couldn't report back to my pastor-father all the scandalous things we talked about.