I have a different role with the twins now, and I love it. I'm not sure what it is yet - part occasional babysitter, part adopted aunt, part...something.
V and I went over there the other night to drop off Christmas gifts. The kids were SO excited to see us: talking a mile a minute, over each other, jumping up and down, all over the place. Their mom even commented a few times how thrilled they were to see us.
It feels so much healthier. I want to see them now, knowing it'll make their day, knowing that will make mine. No more dreading seeing them. No more gunning up the courage to face a day of tantrums. No more tantrums, for that matter.
I still love those kids. I love them even more now that I'm in their life less.