Took the kids to the dentist today, with their mom. That was exhausting. They aren't the screaming and wailing type, but they both clammed up and it took awhile to coax their mouths open.
The dentist visit, and other recent events, have put me back wondering why I'm doing this. Why I am investing so much time and energy and emotion into two kids who aren't mine, who will never be mine, and who I'll never have a final say about anyway.
I know the logistics: the money, and why we're not ready to have a baby. But I want one that's ours. Where we can make the decisions, and do the raising, and it won't feel like I'm expending myself "uselessly."
It's not useless. I know. But sometimes it feels like it.
V, watching ants wobbling around the traps: "Keel over already, guys!"