Continuum

Way back in the beginning of this blog, I discussed my thoughts on the term 'lesbian' and how I was uncomfortable with summing myself up that way in my blog tagline. I'm certainly more accustomed to it now, though it still doesn't reflect me 100% - though I doubt anything that could fit in a tagline could ever fully portray an individual.

That said, I'm content with it. It's a nice, brief summary of the ideas about which I write. Where it makes me laugh, though, is the fact that I'm not really a lesbian. Not in the "only and ever girls" sense. I rely heavily on the Kinsey scale and the idea of a continuum of sexuality (and yes, I know there are much better links than wikipedia, but that's all I have energy for).

How does this tie into childcare? A Monday afternoon playgroup has formed, somewhat by accident, consisting of Laura and Danielle, their friend and her younger brother, Rainbow Dash, and Patrick and Lilly. The three moms and I were chatting while the kids played, and we ended up on the topic of what's attractive in guys. I could honestly take part in that conversation, thinking back to high school, thinking of even now what I think is cute.

Yes, I take pride in my wife. I love who I've become because of her. But sometimes, it's nice to have a "normal" conversation, and I'm glad for my continuum, and knowing that it's okay to think about guys, about girls, about whomever, without having to have a crisis on whether that actually means I'm bi, or if I'm being true to my sudden lesbian heritage, or anything like that.

Besides, then I get in on great conversations with lines like this from Laura and Danielle's mom- "I told him [now-husband] that I almost didn't date him because he's short. He said that's fine, because he almost didn't date me because I was a bitch."

Loss

Seth and Isabella, whom I've known for two years, are moving sometime in the next few months. Their mom told me when I was over there on Thursday; I didn't cry, but boy did that put a damper on my life.  She's been one of my closer mom-friends, and the kids are awesome--exhausting, but awesome. Their dad has a wonderful job offer, so they're taking it for a few years, and then hopefully will come back (though who knows if we'll be here by then).

Seth was 3 when I first met him; now he's in kindergarten, reading, and will play Sorry! or Trouble endlessly.
Isabella was 1; now she has a big-girl bed, is in her second year of preschool, and loves Star Wars just like her brother.

I have so many memories with the whole family. They were the first people to get us a wedding present, and their mom and I have had so many wonderful conversations. The kids sing, all the time. They're adorable and super smart. And, of course, they're the source of what is still my favorite kid story to tell.

I'm going to miss the hell out of them.

Extravaganza

Patrick, nine days away from turning four
Lilly, nine days away from turning four
Bug, three and a half
Andrew, twenty months

One ball pit, approximately three by five
The older three, in one bathtub, approximately two by four
Bug: "I'm going to tell mommy I have new friends!"

Last night was utterly exhausting. And so much fun.

Excuses

1. My sinuses have been giving me hell all week, and it keeps getting worse.
2. It's been one of the busier weeks in recent history, and culminates in an overnight this weekend with extra kids added in.
3. I'm exhausted (see 1 and 2).
4. I got some sad news that I need to share in the next day or two.
5. I've been running late to work every day, and don't seem to have time after work either.

But still, I will have an honest-to-goodness updates here soon. Sad news to share, and then four-year-old's thoughts on dying and heaven.

Decade

Lilly gave me a nice little preview today of what she'll be like ten years from now. She had a pretend phone, and was making a frustrated "ugh!" noise.
"Ugh, my mom is texting me again!"

Yep, I can see her now, at fourteen, saying the exact same thing, with the exact same intonation.

Update

It's strange for me to not have updated for five days. V and I had a friend visiting, so we've been eating at all sorts of delicious local restaurants and poking into shops downtown.

I pulled out a fall shirt to wear today, which I haven't worn in months (obviously), and I'm wondering if something on it irritated me. I have small bumps on my back which are burning; I took a benadryl, so now I'm exhausted. Plus I have what I think is a sinus headache?

Not an auspicious start to a week that's shaping up to be as busy as last week. But it seems like, if we can make it to next Sunday, life will settle down. Just too many deadlines between now and then.

I'm going to go find the face of the earth so I can drop off it again.

Baby

I'm watching Kali, now seventeen months, imitate V's downward dog, and then drag a plastic golf club across the floor.

She's stacking cups and knocking them down.

She's pouring water from one cup to another in the bathtub, grinning at me, and then dumping it on herself.

"MaMA, and DaDDY!"

Now V is balancing her on one knee while they point to pictures of family members and say their names.

I'm in love with this baby, still.
I'm in love with this wife, still.

Little substance here, today. Just me watching, loving, and smelling the baby shampoo on my fingers.