Fate and families

For those who don't know, V got a job! She's going to be watching a three-year-old girl. And for those wondering, yes, I am jealous.

It's actually made me think a lot about work and families and how things came about. When I first started working with the twins, we needed income. V hadn't started bartending yet, and I'd failed at finding anything so far. So I took it, and it seemed perfect: it was money, it was with kids, it was with toddlers for that matter, it was close.

Watching V search for jobs has been interesting. I'm making money now, so she's not under as much pressure as I was back in July. I'm not saying she can take her time and pick and choose, but there's still a difference (rent will get paid regardless). And her finding this three-year-old is making me want one.

Of course, this is coming at a time when Lilly throws up at least once every time I'm there (yep, this morning too), and they're both started fighting a lot more, and I feel more than ever like I'm not living up to their mother's standards. So it's partially understandable.

But I've always had this subconscious belief that things happen for a reason and work out the way they do... I don't know how to explain it other than the vague notion of "fate." And I remember saying, on more than one occasion, that the families I'd ended up with seemed given to me, in a good way. I'm tangling myself in words. And I'm in a contract with the twins, regardless, and I do like them.

But at the moment, a little three-year-old girl sounds like heaven.