Background

And now we will commence lesson one, Why I Am The Way I Am (With Kids):

Yesterday, I sent a text out to five or so friends.
"Two three year olds, two pumpkins, two paintbrushes, three paint colors, two bowls of water, and paper towels.  No way this could go wrong, right?"

Responses ranged from "I'll be praying for you" to "riiight, let me know how that goes" to "oh god why."

Then came my mother's response: "Ooh fun!!! I miss doing that!!"

This concludes our lesson.