Saturday, January 7, 2012


One thing that frustrates me, at the thought of V and I (or any two girls, or two guys) having a baby, is that we have to come up with our own names for ourselves.  I know many couples seem to embrace that freedom.  They see it as another chance to self-designate, just like choosing to do or not do things traditionally falling into gender roles.  But for me, it's frustrating.

I want a baby.  Anyone who's ever read the header on this site knows that.  But, secretly, a little part of me wants things to simply fall into place.  I'm okay with finding sperm.  I'm okay with getting a little creative trying to get me pregnant.  I'm okay with having to do a lot of research to have the birth I believe is best.  But, at the end of it, can't we just know who we are?

We've talked about using Mommy and Mama.  It's the most common, from what I've seen.  I would be mommy; V would be mama.  But I can't settle there.  Babies don't start saying mommy for a long time.  And I love "mama," coming out of a little mouth.  But I'm not saying V should be relegated to mommy - in fact, I'm not even saying mommy is a better or worse term.  For some reason, I'm just not really a fan of it right now.  Maybe I've heard "I want mommy!" too many times this week.

Then there are the other language alternatives.  Ima, the Hebrew, is another popular term.  But we have no real connection to any other languages.  Maddy, or some combination of mother-father terms, is another alternative; neither of us are masculine-acting enough to feel comfortable with a father-type term.  I don't want to use first names, or "Mommy First Name."

Why do I worry about this now?  Probably because kids are always on my mind, and if I didn't think about it, I would have to think about more practical (read: stressful) things.  Which I don't want to do.

1 comment:

  1. Is this a good or bad time to say that I prefer "Momma"? :p