Weary

I'm not weary of my job.  Not quite yet.  I'm just weary of interviews and new routines.

V and I went to meet a mom today, an old contact who we finally connected with, who just needs occasional sitting.  As I was sitting there, making sure I interacted with the kids enough, answered her questions "right," and looked like I was enjoying myself, it struck me: I'm tired of this.

I still love my kids; I don't want to give them up.  But can't I just keep them in my house, and never have to meet any more?  It's stressful.

Thankfully, there won't be too much more of this.  I'm very settled with my two families plus four or so occasionals, and that should do it.  Given that no one abruptly moves or has relatives come live with them.

On a happier note, I emailed the twins' parents to ask if they'd thought about anything past July (when my contract ends), and the gist of their response was, "We don't know the specifics, but we definitely still want you."  I'm so glad.  I don't know what I'd do if I had to give those kids up.