Yesterday, after Patrick screamed at me multiple times during lunch, I smacked his hand. This is - to put it mildly - very atypical behavior. It's happened maybe a handful of times, which is a handful too many. I put him in his crib for timeout and calm-down time, then came back downstairs to Lilly.
I explained to her that when I went up to talk to Patrick, I needed to apologize, because it is never okay to hit. Back in the nursery, I said the same thing to Patrick. I told him I was wrong, and that hitting wasn't nice and I shouldn't have done it. I said I was sorry.
I left it in the note for their mom. (Partially because I'm super honest, partially because they would out me anyway.) In my note for this morning, she wrote back that she knew it was hard to keep it together, and that she knows I know I'm a role model and that we can't tell the kids hitting is wrong if we do it. Thankfully, she also wrote that she knew I had sound judgment, or something like that, that made it clear that she didn't think I was a terrible, immoral person. I still feel horrid.
Cute Lilly line of the day, to end on a cheery note: "I'm gonna play in my nursery-room. In my bedtime crib!"