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Thursday, June 9, 2011

Reading minds

I often wish I could know what V's family is thinking.  There are so many instances when I just want to be inside someone's brain.  When we were at her brother's wedding, for example, there was a moment during the rehearsal where her brother and I locked eyes, and I couldn't help but wonder if he was realizing the seriousness of what he was about to do, and realizing too that he had witnessed us do this three months prior.  Or later, at the reception, when V and I both think her mother was about to ask why she wasn't going up for the bouquet toss, but she bit her lip instead.

It's even more frustrating when I literally don't have a clue.  Today, her mom texted V to ask if we were coming home for her birthday in August.  After a bit, V told her we couldn't afford a hotel.  Her mom asked if we slept in the same room when we went to visit my dad.  V told her as close as we could remember to exactly what my dad had said: 'This isn't acceptance or condoning, but also not worth risking a relationship over' - as he put our stuff down in one room.

She hasn't heard back from her mother since.  I want to know her thoughts, her real thoughts, not the ones she sugarcoats to us.

Barring that, can't she just be okay with us?

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